afterwords::8::push

Push PLAY

In speaking about imbalance, we better release ourselves from the judgment of doing things wrong. Perhaps at one time not playing protected us from being clobbered or teased and ridiculed. That historical moment exists in a past; and we can’t give more energy to that imaginary shadow. In fact it probably helps more to consider holding onto the past as a type of play that no longer serves us but still involves us in an imaginary realm where we play with our own memories. Give permission not to play that way so often. Like certain habits, we might find we have to give permission several times. Assume it takes 4-5 times (or 6-8 times: how long have I been writing?) before we notice and we regain a sense of freedom. Think of this play like a ‘play’ button on a CD or computer. It helps to remind us that a ‘stop’ and also a ‘pause’ button exist. We acknowledge what happened, and that we succeeded in protecting our selves, but now a higher priority goes to returning to playgrounds in our imagination. Playgrounds appear more and more accessible for our enjoyment with simple attention and words of encouragement.

afterwords::9::longing

**Play as Longing
[A Seventh assumption] We leave so little time to play that we can’t sustain the internal experience of play; and therefore, only actually experience the longing to play. This longing becomes our belief about play, that play eludes us. Now we prime our self for disappointment; and we displace our own inner healing process.


A comment from a 30-year high school reunion comes back to me. A man wrote about going out and playing catch with his 11-year old son. It remained in memory a priceless treasure. It captures a window into play. The behavior unlinked from the game of baseball holds a moment of connection. Sports unfortunately tend to overemphasize competition and present play as skill. In this moment a father and son fulfill the American dream of connection. I remember the man’s father and imagine the longing this man held for his father's attention and then we can reflect on a healing legacy this passes forward.


In this process of inviting play back into our life, we will probably have to remind ourselves that we really still do remember how. We can state that pretending that we didn’t know how to play anymore represented a really long game we played. In retrospect it seems like a poor idea. We don’t have to play that any more.

Afterwords::10::otherwordS

The sense of play that I like to bring up from childhood centers on a few vague and fragmented memories. As a six years old, I rarely got my 18 months older brother to play with me. His style of play and mine didn’t tend to mix well except on certain weekend mornings when while our parents sleep, we placed ourselves where the chair fit under the desk in the guest room. As best I can tell I would then entertain my brother with stories about travel. Neither of us have any memory of the content of these stories, though the event has come down through memory called “grandfather and little boy.” No toys existed in this game. I think the desk once became a plane and I know one time it became an ocean liner. Even with repeated attempts the details remain hidden, though I can touch a sense of peace and excitement, recalling successfully engaging my brother’s attention. Our usual game consisted of me teasing him and he threatening to clobber me. We played that often.


Now if the belief holds strong that play belongs in childhood, left in the past, consider using a different language for what we intend to describe here. Translate this into other words; and see if a description opens up a world of this other type of experience.


Suggestion # x: In Other Words

Comment with other words::

afterwords::11::withwhat

**With What Do We Get to Play?

We all know that children play. They play unstoppably. Playing comes as naturally as breathing for them. Much of the time they play with anything available. Although we sometimes think that we need to provide them with all the current play paraphernalia, an eighth assumption. This stuff represents an epiphenomenon of marketing and does not essentially reference play. Most of us have clear memories of play that didn’t require the latest toy. In fact many of us have memories of play where the toys came from something meant for use as something else. We have other memories where even the toy existed only in our imagination. With imagination we embarked on behaviors we call play. If we didn’t get called home to dinner or bed, and even if we did, we played well into our sleep.



Suggestion # y: Toy reverie

Recall memories of childhood play with simple substituted ‘toys’ or with ‘toys’ made of only imagination. Include a detail. Consider a diagram with text explanation. Leave comments::

afterwords::12::repeat

Reconnect with playfulness

Life on all levels balances thoughts with feelings and thoughts and feelings with knowledge. Through behavior we express the knowledge derived from thoughts and feelings. I think of this dynamic as always being in motion. It doesn’t stop even while we sleep. Sometimes one aspect like a branch of a mobile needs a little tweak to move into a smoother orbit with the others. We begin where we start to notice something and move through our intents and wishes toward where our inquiries lead. Like with any mobile, we always arrive and depart.






**Never repeat

A ninth assumption about play derives from a wish not to repeat our self. This represents a tricky edge. Most of us remember hours of playing at the same activity without apparent loss of interest or focus. Part of this relates to developmental stages, but another part conforms to a way we have been taught to move on to new things. During repetition subtle distortions occur that clue us in to new perspectives. With the cycles of repetition, we begin to invent new activities:: Rest a little longer with repetitions.

afterwords::13::packages

**Theatrical Plays

Reflect on plays in the theater and the notion of the stage. We certainly encourage living as though the world were a stage. The idea of a formal theater stage came as a means to frame the actors to enhance the focus on what we were being encouraged to believe as true. Television in a rigid manner draws on this notion, and it encourages us to believe (the tenth in this list of assumptions) in what we watch. Unfortunately we forget that the world is still the stage; and we become convinced that only by watching something, do we hope to achieve a state of playfulness. In my childhood home, we didn’t own a television yet, and a four-year-old visitor asked my mother plaintively: “But what do you watch?”

Many parents limit a child’s television consumption in order to keep the child's imagination accessible and active. So we have to encourage ourselves to take the stage back out of the television and put it out in the world where it truly exists. And we have to limit more than just our consumption of TV. We have to limit our consumption of all kinds of ::prepackaged ideas.

afterwords::14::catching-up

Suggestion # z: Consuming Imagination

Spend a week without TV; spend it without magazines and radio. Spend it without music, without a computer, etc. Maybe we can only spend an evening this way. Add humor. Have a date with just imagination. If we can disengage from the anxiety with which we constantly bombard our self, we can see to what ideas and behaviors we gravitate. If a simple task begs to engage us, consider it; but forego it, if it requires too much paraphernalia. Maybe forego it just to see what happens next. Consider this a meditation retreat with an imagination master. It occurs simply and without props. Consider this an invitation to add only imagination. Keep the limits open for what make believe encompasses. Leave judgments aside. If we find we occupy a developmental stage of life that we left long ago, remember that the beauty of aging allows and encourages us to access all of our past development, when we choose. At first we may experience sensations from a time when we gave up on our imagination. ::Please persevere::

::The Good News:: Attention here reminds us how versatile and nimble imagination remains. This aspect of human nature benefits us when where and what ever we explore. The developmental stage of our imagination easily metamorphoses to join us in the present state of our life. And it does this with the least bit of respectful encouragement. Think of the experience as the reunion with a long lost friend. We may have some catching up to do. Though this special friend no matter how long we spend apart feels like a friend from whom absence creates no disruption. We fall in step like we never separated. And so we haven’t.

::Share notes from a retreat with imagination::