“I quit!” means break time, or hurt feelings, or overstimulation, or understimulation, or some sense of imbalance, or a distraction from senses, or hunger, or realizations about something else, or a recipe of some of each.
Think about the value of attaching and detaching. Consider the value of intentionally detaching from people and things. When we feel that the priorities we hold become inconsistent with our behavior, detach. Take into account the stuff of life. We all have varying tendencies to fall into a trap of valuing material possessions above their due. We learn to value certain rare substances that shine or sparkle as though they had personal dynamic value. If we notice what we really enjoy having around, then we can play at spreading the rest of it out and even give it to others where the material either gets used, used up or serves them or serves another purpose altogether. Take into account people and places that fill time, though we don’t engage in meaningful connection. This offers a chance to play as well.
Perspective Exercise #6: Interesting Conversation
Consider what really interests us. Plan to have conversations with people about this. First though we can prepare for conversation by telling people our intention. Let them have a chance to think about what really interests them. We easily hold attention when someone talks clearly and directly about what really interests them. Then when we take time out, we can let these threads of information sort themselves out, making new connections of our own.
I asked this of a young stranger. The answer, cooking. He spent years discovering this truth for him. He mentioned how important it felt to feed others in ways that awakened their sense of taste and smell. In the statement stood a profound truth.
In each of these scenarios we titrate engagement and detachment. We make a game of connection and value each part. Just like we valued each aspect of a breath. Detachment as signaled by “I quit!” has become an adjustment in our inner play control panel. This writing stresses engagement in play, though in order to really play well we have to be good at stopping play. Actually we just play at not playing. In this way we become more sensitive to our inner needs for stimulation and rest. These serve as personal subtleties about which we can now go deeper and deeper. They provide us with a better sense of our core.The core can be that wonderfully vast empty chamber of choice. The use of play to accomplish a balance between stimulation and rest allows us to side step some of the rigid ways we use to define a false core. Wrestling with these kinds of identity issues brings us to consider with whom we want to play and how. We may learn to play less and less because we accept some rigid sense of ourselves and playing puts this self at odds with our core being. I wont say play subverts this paradigm, but I think it serves as a healthy force to get our priorities restructured. Can we value the whole planet by playing in our personal corner and not feeling like we have to have everyone play like we do?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
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