a first approach: wobble

, wobble

WOBBLE

An introDuction
that was once a Conclusion

Sometime in a past summer the word “wobble” starts to appear in my thinking. I write another draft of my play book and I need a way back into the subject. While stacking rocks upon each other, a loose tooth 'kin dof' play suggests: a sense of balance about to occur. Unlike the loosening of the tooth, this becomes a fitting into place of an element. I move a little and subtly I can move my hand away and the stack stands. My breath separates from the stones. Here begins an offering.

In summer Valentino suggests to me that writing a play book ought to be playful and I have to admit that the play has drifted out of the project. It waddles out to the river we watch as we talk and swims off into the darkening evening. I recommit to write about play playfully. He has suggested that writing about failed attempts to write about playfulness might be interesting. Some description of the experience could provide hints and clues surrounding playfulness: a lengthening nine year mystery.

I laugh inside, Shelly is suggesting a writers' group to get me going again.

I hear the critical voice in the back of my mind clear its throat. Can a cynic be playful? Can a wobble leave in place the underlying intent to engage? My writing self, oversensitive to criticism, determines to pretend to start again. The point: ah, to keep at it in some form and to discover what playfulness in writing feels like. Just as in everyday life, nudging a playful response, living on a playful bias,
simply living simply respectful of resources,
aware that much of this struggle occurs in a lap of luxury
compared to the experience of the rest of the wonderful inhabitants of this planet.

So if our priorities lean more toward the quality of life rather than some measure of quantity, then I extend an invitation on a jaunt, exploring the things that I use to make my life more playful. While on this personal journey I encourage others to discover a personal more playful path.

I turned my life upside down. though that's not essential, just wobble something loose and balance it anew. Maybe eat dessert first at least a few times and figure out if a spoonful of dessert up front makes an attitude about something a bit sweeter.

John asked me when I write, and I mumble something because, of course, I haven’t been writing and have no idea when I will be writing again, and here it comes again a writing time; and I relax and rather happily return to the subject: wobbles.


In earlier drafts I found myself preoccupied with ideas that remained flat. I don’t pretend to think of this as the last writing, but I do like to notice that certain ideas over time have expanded in unexpected ways, for instance the notion of a wobble. Or I prod the way we use the words play and work. I really wanted to provide a bunch of play exercises until I realized that I can do things in a playful way, and I can do the same things in a flat dull way; and they are, of course, the same things.

What 'kindo f' wobble is this. The same work or play activity can be play or work for different people, and the same activity can sometimes be one or the other for the same person. Does an attitude and a feeling at a given moment form a wobble? I am a cleaner-upper kind of guy; and when the dishes and dust pile up, I feel cleaning as an unpleasant chore. If I clean here and there as I go, I find I like the sense of rendering order and making clean. Rarely I pour a closet out on the floor and clean it all up. So you wont find me there with any predictability that I recognize. The goal of this offering supports more of the unpredictable. The quality of the unpredictable in play doesn’t lend itself to careful scrutiny or containment in written words. Of course, that basically would be predictable.

I read that there doesn’t seem to be any scientific basis for a benefit of play. I wouldn’t attack science for that, I would just support the notion that some things remain qualitatively illusive and deserve support for that 'illusiveness.' Few remain illusive; so respect the balance and then allow for the wobble.

In the working mechanism of machinery a slight wobble allows the gears to get from stand still to motion. Apparently the universe contains many wobbles: the earth on its axis, the moon in its orbit. the tide along the surfaces of the shore. How wonderful to find some quality of the big picture based on a wobble. So in the workings of the universe we have a give and take that doesn’t negate the structural laws of life but adds a certain quality to the whole. That’s what I want to explore, ways of adding a certain quality to the whole, through wobbles.

By introducing wobbles I find that I have a better sense of belonging more of the time. Some times I feel like I am trying to get away with something, but mostly that "getting away from' reminds me that I find little support for what I do. I intend to improve the quality of my life in a most simple way I can imagine. I hope to be more and more playfully present for what happens now. I reject more fear, though I can sense how fear confuses. I become suspicious of more wealth, though I can sense how wealth seduces. I suspend owning more stuff though I can sense the owning addiction. I will remain addicted to fitting things together simply and not wasting so much of the planet's resources, hopefully sensing the fun wobbles as I proceed.

I make it sound like I have a bigger plan, which I don’t. I make it sound like I have some major answers, which I don’t. But I have this idea about the wobble and where it gets me; and I hope it can get more and more of us somewhere where we truly like being, so we don’t feel like we have to take something away from someone else in order to have fun and sense satisfaction.

I have several other rules I play by. Only I have to say that these aren’t rule rules. Call them criterion governing experience.

I hope that the humor I sometimes feel as I play with objects will seep into the text. So far I'm not convinced, but that remains one of the story's mysteries.

When I play I give up on certain aspects of life and invest my attention in a similar though separate set of beliefs and expectations. A little surprise forms at times as I lose my position. I start again to develop
positive playful experiences. I imagine readers that make similar discoveries. Doesn't play seep into behavior with a bit of consistent encouragement?

My first rule of play: Do what you want to do first first. Something about us as members of an animal kingdom gives us some kind of access to an order different from socialization, not to judge socialization as bad, but rather that some of us have become over socialized, while others of us have failed to become adequately socialized. The over socialized frequently postpone the thing we would rather do first. The under socialized create a different mess. It may be a bias of observation, but I find if I do what I want to do first, the rest gets done more easily, sometimes in far less time. I am playing.

My second rule: Order something in my immediate environment. I don’t necessarily have to complete this ordering because it usually leads to some other interesting invitation that I want to explore. Or I may only order up to a point before I want a different order.

When I see my way to another project, I try not to tell myself to wait. Usually I hear that voice in my head and have to lightly calm it down. No particular order informs how I play. I have taken to leaning projects against walls, or piling them up somewhere, so I have access to them when engagement resumes.

A third rule: Be involved in more that one activity before completing an earlier one. This seems counter to getting things done, but my experience reveals the opposite. More gets done and I spend less time pondering when I might get to something. Not that I don’t do plenty of pondering, just that frequently I notice it lacks interest and move on. I also find that sometimes some thing serves as the lead activity for another activity. And that that second activity really brings the greater satisfaction. Sometimes even the second thing provides something that makes the first thing easier to complete.

A fourth rule: Everything you need presents itself, or stands near by. I marvel at what can be used to solve problems when the right stuff eludes my grasp. I frequently make up uses for things for which they were never intended. In fact some surge of joy expresses itself when this happens. I also find that the small piece of what I need just happens to be around when I need it, so that I dont need more material to create what I need. Some of these extra pieces become pleasant reminders of this process. Of course, I would be the kind of person who likes the worn and mended rather than the new and shiny.

I have a certain oppositional nature and a certain distrust of the status quo. Simply, it doesn’t comfort me. That constructed center doesn’t reflect who I am, so I often find comfort in doing quirky things. I make up rules for a while; and then I change them. Not to exclude anyone, just to hone my awareness. I don’t really know if anyone feels good about being like everyone else, mostly I assume most of have varying degrees of similarity and difference unlike a constructed normal.



The most recent rule of play: Once I tell a story about how I enjoy something, I bare false witness. Strangely what I thought I enjoy shifts slightly to challenge and reveal a new story. I no longer do enjoy that exactly in that way. Play seems very flexible. It makes room for inconsistency; probably the rules only approximate the experience.

So the final rule might be that when you believe something, loosen up the perspective to embrace the wobble. Allow for growth and change. Believe loosely.