10th perspective third view

Perspective Exercise #2: Social Time Out

Some times we play in social settings and we need to take a break. We play less than our best or less than how we like to play. We engage from a perspective of discomfort. To quit at these times may mean to give our self a break. Take time out. Even when we feel like we’re fully engaged, we can use a break. We can savor what we enjoy. Go and spend a moment in the rest room, in the bathroom, in the toilet stall. It serves as a guaranteed safe space in a social setting. We can check in, and see if we continue playing, how we will play. We have the chance to just breathe and notice what goes on inside our body. Pieces constructed from the past and from an imagined future. When we return, we consider embracing just the present. From this refreshed position, we can reengage.

Perspective Exercise #3: Personal Time Out

Some times too many demands pull on a moment and priorities become confused. Next time take or give time for a simple time out. Start practicing at home when no one else observes. Just sit still and let all the lists and the demands sit still, too. “I quit,” can mean I have something else I have to do now. Take an aware breath. See if we can playfully approach the list in a new way when we reengage.

A list of comfort scenarios can become large and personal. Take time to do research on comfort. Some times our bed serves as a safe ship to play on. Taking naps seems a playful way to insert a safe place. The nap alludes to the essence of comfort; discover what makes the break effective. We may need a little jump to reengage. Jumps can be playful. Find a jumping memory. Find a time when to jump meant full joy. The next time we come back to reengage in an activity after taking a desired break, jump using this memory as the frame.

Along with naps, soaks and baths create comfort, or repeating any aspect of a morning ritual. Since they represent part of our daily engagement rituals, reexamine them. Be aware that to disengage we can use any of our nighttime rituals as well. Turn inward for an answer to the question, “Now what?” Now we can make time for what we would like to have at the top of the list. The list, not structured by outcome, but by playful inquiry holds to our intent. We didn’t plan to hold our breath forever; we consider, continuing to play with a new awareness.

For many of us the sense of renewal from taking a break can be evoked with a childhood memory of play. Find a time we got hurt and ran to a parent for comfort. As soon as we had our parent's attention and the chance to cry out our tears of relief and feel the comfort of our parent, we felt a return of playfulness with a readiness to jump back in. Do remember. We would repeat this cycle, when really young, as often as needed. Don’t forget. Young humans do this naturally.